In this weeks Parsha, Acharei Mot and Kedoshim, the pasuk says, "Every man shall fear his mother and his father" (19:3).
What is the reason that fearing your mother is written before fearing your father?
The Gemara in Kiddushin Daf 31A says that in Shmot 20:12 it says to honor your father and your mother. The reason behind this is due to the fact that a person admires their mother more, and fears their father more. For this reason, the Torah writes the opposite of human nature in the Torah to show that a person should honor and fear both of their parents equally.
What other reasons are they written in that specific order for?
Why is fearing your mother written before fearing your father?
ReplyDeleteIn Biraisheet it is written, “Honor your father and your mother”, and in this week’s parsha it is written, “Fear your mother and your father”. According to http://www.ahavat-israel.com/am/parents, the reason that fearing your mother is written first in the parsha is because honoring your father was written first in a previous parsha. The Torah is giving each parent a turn to be written first, and is equating honor and fear as equal for both parents.
4- Rashi teaches to fear your mother is written first because a child has more fear for his father that his mother. And so the torah finds it necessary to explicitly say you must fear your mother too. As if to say that although you may only fear your father you still must honor both your mother and father equally. Then when the torah lists the father first and then the mother. The torah does so as to say that even though you may like your mother better than your father and therefore only honor her, you must honor both parents equally.
ReplyDeleteRashi says that children naturally fear their fathers more then their mothers. So, in the Ten commandments when it says honor your father and your mother-your father is put first. Therefore, this why why children need such an emphasis on fearing their mothers AS WELL! Because you need to fear both, not just your father. The Torah wanted to stress not only do you have to follow your natural inclinations of fearing and honoring, but to do vice versa as well.
ReplyDeleteHere, the Torah teaches us a very beautiful lesson- that we should treat our parents equally. After all, we all feel that parents should treat children equally. Favoritism shown by a parent can lead to big problems between parent and child. Likewise, children are obligated to treat their parents equally.
ReplyDeleteOften children give their mothers greater honor than their fathers, and they fear their fathers more than their mothers. Mothers are the nurturers who constantly give without regard to their personal needs.Fathers are usually the stricter ones in the family; they command a higher level respect or fear. How often do mothers say to their children, "wait till your father gets home?" The Torah therefore juxtaposes their roles - honor your father and fear your mother.
The Gemara on Kiddushin 31B says that “Fear” is defined as not sitting or standing in a parent’s designated place and not contradicting a parent, while “honor” is defined as feeding parents, clothing parents, and helping them come in and out. Rabbi Yaakov Einsaltz says that the mother is written first in this case since in traditional roles, the mother is tasked with feeding, clothing and other domestic needs. For this reason, it is obvious that one should return the favor to ones mother when she needs help. With fear, however, the father is usually involved in discipline and rule-making so it is very clear that one must fear his father in this way. For this reason, the pasuk is written backwards, reminding us to give our parents things that they may not have given us.
ReplyDeleteHonor your father and your mother (Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16)
ReplyDeleteFear your mother and your father (Leviticus 19:3)
In the matter of honor due to parents, the father is mentioned first; in the matter of reverence due to them, the mother is mentioned first. From this we infer that both are to be equally honored and revered. Thus, whatever is said of one parent applies equally to the other parent (Kerrithoth 6:9 - 28a).
Rashi says that a child usually fears their father and looks toward their mother for nurturing and care. The Torah specifically states first that the mother must be feared because that is not necessarily a natural feeling that a child would feel toward their mother without it being emphasized.
ReplyDeleteRashi says that a child usually fears their father and looks toward their mother for nurturing and care. The Torah specifically states first that the mother must be feared because that is not necessarily a natural feeling that a child would feel toward their mother without it being emphasized.
ReplyDeleteRashi says that, naturally, a child fears his/her father more and sees his/her mother as the more nurturing one. However, we must remember that even though our mother is kind and nurturing, we must still remember to honor her. This teaches us a very important lesson in life about roles. Throughout our lives, we may become close to someone; a teacher, a friend, a family member. However, it is always important to remember that no matter how close, respect is still important, even necessary!
ReplyDeleteHave an amazing Shabbat!
although times have changed, the father played the dominant role in the household, so many believed we should prioritize honoring your father over your mother, however this is not the case. since honoring your mother may seem more like a given since she is the one who actually birthed and nurtured you, the torah chooses to first emphasize the fatherly aspect since during those times women played a less primary role and were viewed as the caring nurses or delicate midwives. it is easy to honor someone who has such a selfless role, however we must also honor our fathers with a balance of both fear and respect we associate with men of high authority.
ReplyDeleteChazal says that it as an example of the torah telling us to challenge our natural instincts- normally, we wouldnt fear our mother as much as our father, but here we are being commanded to.
ReplyDeleteWe should fear those who teach us Torah. Since the mother is primarily the one to bring up and teach her children. Because she plays such a large role in making the children into the adults they will become, she should be just as feared as the father. This is the reason that the order is mother and then father.
ReplyDeleteRashi comments on the pasuk saying,
ReplyDelete"Here, Scripture mentions the mother before the father, because He is privy to the fact that a child fears his father more than his mother [and therefore, by mentioning the mother first, Scripture emphasizes the duty of fearing her also. However,] in the case of honoring [one’s parents], Scripture mentions the father before the mother, because He is privy to the fact that a child honors his mother more than his father, since she wins his favor by [speaking kind and loving] words. [Therefore, by mentioning the father first in the context of honor, Scripture emphasizes the duty of honoring him also]."
Rabbi Katz teaches us that the reason the mother is mentioned before the father here is because in bereshit when this mitzvah is brought up the father is mentioned before the mother. This shows that neither parent should be feared over the other and they should both be respected equally. The torah is giving each parent a chance to be written first showing that whatever mitzvah said of one parent can be applied to both parents.
ReplyDeleteAhavat-israel.com gives a great answer (so i hope thats a worthy source) and says that there is another passuk in the torah that says "Fear your mother and your father". This time. the mothers name is mentioned first. This is to equate both the mother and father and switch off whos name comes first. or to quote the website - "From this we infer that both are to be equally honored and revered."
ReplyDelete-Sarah Eisenstadter
Rashi says that it is natural to fear one's father but not as natural to fear one's mother since she nurtures the child. Therefore, the Torah emphasizes the fact that you are required to fear your mother as well. However, if both your mother and father request something of you at the same time, you must first tend to the needs of your father.
ReplyDeleteAriella Rand
ReplyDeleteChildren usually fear their fathers more than their mothers, so it is written mother first to show that you must also fear your mother.
The Torah writes Fear your mother first here, because in the Sefer Shemot Perek 20 pasuk 12 it says honor your father and mother with father first.
ReplyDelete